Tonight I had my first walk in what I hope to be a daily routine of walks (apparently on the one-year anniversary of Michael Moore’s “take a walk” campaign, which I think is really cool). What I love about walks: the depth and variety of thoughts that appear to be considered; the smells (I caught hints of early-blooming gardenia and jasmine); the stars; animals (a toad on the sidewalk in front of me, cows moving bovinely in the dark pasture); the absence of my own inner critic telling me I should be doing X, Y, or Z instead of whatever I’m doing. It is rare for me to feel in-the-moment, to simply be. A walk does that for me.
And my favorite thought of the 30 minute experience? That it’s ok if I’m not good at everything, not perfect. I’m good at some things. I love many people and things, and I am lucky enough to be loved as well. So I suck at calling repairmen, getting estimates, talking prices and making appointments for them to come look at what needs to be done. So I suck at doing the practical things around the house that need to be done. And not only do I suck at these things; I really dislike doing them. Sure, I wish I was better at them, didn’t hate doing them.
But I just have this one life.
And so I will figure out what I can do to make better use of my resources, without beating myself up about what I’m not. I’m not a carpenter, plumber, electrician, personal assistant, accountant, insurance specialist, lawyer, chef, scheduler, organization expert, community organizer, political pundit, journalist, activist, or multi-tasker. I’m a teacher. I’m a writer. I’m a lover of nature and animals. My favorite color is green. Here I am, doing one thing at a time, not perfectly, but as well as I can.
And, always, sending out my love to you all.